This Month At Dontmindme.com — April 2002

I'm introducing a couple of new categories this month, and deleting a few others. The plan is to mix things up a little and so some categories will alternate months as per my whim.

Song of the Month: There's a sick and twisted part of me that likes schmaltzy 80s stuff. So the song this month is the terribly schmaltzy "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder. He was a one hit wonder with this song in the early 80s, but unlike most other single hit singers, he is still in the music biz. Now he writes, produces, and does some backup, most recently for Christina Aguilera. Before that he produced No Doubt's massive debut CD Tragic Kingdom and he was nominated for an Oscar for the Mulan soundtrack. So he's obviously talented, but "Break My Stride" is totally schmaltzy and worth a listen if you like that sort of thing.

Album of the Month: Forest Gump the Soundtrack. The subtitle is "32 American Classics on 2 CDs" which is simple and accurate. Even if you didn't like the movie this is a worthy addition to any music collection. It's a great sampler of popular music from the mid 50s through the late 70s.

Book of the Month: Last week I got a copy of The Hobbit, and although I haven't started reading it yet, I've read it before, and it's a great book. Also, if someone finds the Lord of the Rings trilogy a bit daunting, The Hobbit is an excellent introduction to Tolkien.

Chemical Element of the Month: Cesium, heaviest of the stable alkali metals, was the first element to have a usenet group dedicated to it (alt.cesium) and certainly has the most song parodies of any chemical element. Spontaneously flammable metals are such fun.

Game of the Month: Ever feel like you've arrived too late? And no, I don't mean when you show up for work 45 minutes after you're supposed to be there, and your boss calls you aside for a "talk." I'm saying this because I'm finally playing The Sims. I've only just started the game, so I have yet to figure out many of the nuances of sim life, but it seems really cool, and only mildly twisted. What's twisted is that there are now four add-ons to the game. That's right, four. A serious Sims addiction could get really expensive.

Fun Link of the Month: Some people never completely grow up. One of them runs this site dedicated to Legos. What he's done with Legos is amazing, notably his Lego version of Lord of the Rings. Check it out, it's very impressive.

Rumour of the Month: David Fincher, best known for directing outside the Hollywood mainstream movies such as Se7en, Fight Club, and The Game, and the currently in theaters Panic Room is being considered to direct the next Mission Impossible flick. This would be a definite departure from John Woo, just as Woo was completely different from Brian DePalma. I guess that's one way to keep a franchise fresh.

Useful Link of the Month: I'm not sure how thoroughly useful this site is, but it is a handy resource if you're really into television. The Futon Critic is to television info what CNN is to news. You'll find everything from the latest ratings to fall pilot news.

Word of the Month: Utterly. It means absolutely or totally, and it's a handy little adverb when used properly. A great word when you want a somewhat usual way to express totality. For example, "It's late and I am utterly tired."

Acronym of the Month: IMWTK. Inquiring Minds Want To Know. I used to use this acronym in email a fair amount before I started letting my email slide. If you are peppering someone with questions tossing in a IMWTK can lighten the mood somewhat and make it seems less like an interrogation.

Quote of the Month: "The imaginary dead guy was right." From the new and highly amusing show Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

Prank of the Month: Spring is at hand, and that means lawns are soon going to be growing again. If you have a victim who takes pride in his lawn, this is a particularly nasty prank. Get some white powered fertilizer and use it to deface the vic's lawn. Myself, I'd go for the logo or name of a sports team he hates (the logo of the Montreal Canadiens comes to mind, the big C with an H in the middle is nice and easy to make). Make the letters nice and big and well spaced. Cover a lot of lawn area with this. Don't lay on the fertilizer too thick, you don't need to make big heavy lines of it. Ideally it should look like it was done with chalk, much like sidelines on a soccer field. When the victims sees this, how is he going to get rid of it? With the hose, of course. Water will wash away the chalk in no time. Only it's fertilizer, not chalk. It will soak into the lawn and in a few weeks your message will be back in the form of lush green grass spelling it out. Even mowing won't get rid of it.