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I've done items in less than good taste before. This one comes
to mind, as does this
one, and especially, especially this
one. Now that you've gone and read those other tasteless articles,
it's time to read this one. I don't think the title really needs any explanation.
I'm rating slang terms for vomiting. It's that simple and it's in that
poor taste. If you're the easily offended or generally squeamish type,
you might not want to read this feature. Try this
one instead.
Toss Your Cookies: Technically this should
only apply if you've eaten cookies recently, which unless you happen to
be Cookie Monster, might not be particularly recent (and if you do happen
to be Cookie Monster, well, you're probably the first muppet to read this
site). I don't eat cookies every day. Or even every week. It's not that
I don't like cookies, I like them entirely too much. Thankfully I have
enough self control to not come home from the ubermarket with a bag of
Fudgee-Os all that often (not that I don't often get something baked and
with sugar as the second ingredient) because that would be Bad. Puke: Do you know that this is actually
a Shakespearean word? It's true. The exact quote is "At first the
infant, mewling and puking in the nurse's arms." It's from the seven
ages of Man speech in As You Like It. So yes, the Bard gave us
a classic slang term for vomit. How can that be anything but Good?
Spew Chunks: This one is thoroughly visceral
and literal, and I do admit I'm experiencing some ambivalence in rating
it. On the one hand, the word spew is very cool and not overused. Chunks,
on the other hand, is really unpleasant and entirely too graphic. The
imagery is rather nasty. Graphic and nasty beats out cool and uncommon
nineteen times out of twenty. Ugly
Technicolour Yawn: While I do like this
term, it's important to remember that yawning resembles vomiting like
toothpaste resembles silicone caulk (well, both are squeezed out of tubes
and can potentially be used to fill holes in walls, but a tube of Mono
probably won't do much to fight plaque). And as for the technicolour part,
well, let's face it, stomach contents tend toward the monochrome. What
the particular colour happens to be will vary, of course, but it's not
really going to be technicolour unless you happened to have just finished
a big bag of jelly beans and didn't chew them very well. And you thought
I was kidding when I said this rating was going to be in Bad
taste.
Call Ralph on the Big White Phone: Okay,
so I've never actually heard anyone use this term, apart from this one
time I used it myself, and that doesn't really count. That doesn't mean
that it isn't at the same time hilarious and entirely too clever. The
reactions I got when I used it ranged from "Huh?" to "Say
wha. . . oh, hehehehe." It is definitely one of the most entertaining
terms for vomiting. I'm going to make an effort to use it more often.
Not that I talk about vomit all that often, you understand. That's probably
a Good thing. |