This Month At Dontmindme.com — September 2001

We have a sort of theme this month — sharks. If Discovery Channel can do a Shark Week, I can certainly do a Shark Month. When I was a kid I was really into sharks. I even had a foot-long rubber great white that I used to beat people over the head with, but that's another story for another time.

Now for some administrivia. The August poll had some rather decisive results. Rigged, yes, but decisive.

I won't be doing Practical Joke of the Month, though. Instead I'll be doing some practical joke features. There seems to be a certain amount of demand for practical jokes and pranks, and I'm thinking this is perhaps a niche I can work myself into. So I'll be adding a Joke of the Month.

Song of the Month: There's only one song that can be my song for Shark Month, and that's "Mack the Knife." Bobby Darin's version is easily the best known, and although many people have recorded the song over the years, I feel safe saying Darin's take on the song was definitive. If you aren't familiar with this song, shame on you. Go download it this very minute, I'll wait. Everyone should know this jolly little tale of a charming knife murderer named MacHeath.

Album of the Month: I struggled to come up with a shark related album, and I'm afraid I don't have anything that qualifies. So instead I'm going to plug something pretty obscure. Not many people are familiar with The Faith, also known as Reckless Faith, a guitar based Christian indie group from Alberta (there's another band out there called The Faith, on the label Dischord, I'm not familiar with them). This is a shame, because they have a couple of fantastic albums. The one in particular I'm recommending is Supernova, which you are going to have a hard time finding, alas. There isn't much music produced today with lyrics of this depth combined with music of this quality.

Fun Link of the Month: This is something I stumbled across one day and made me laugh out loud. It's a fun little fake quiz of East German and Russian stamps from the cold war. Doesn't sound all that interesting? Well, you've never seen a German stamp dedicated to the sport of Field Prancing.

Useful Link of the Month: Ever find yourself online buying land and you just need to know exactly how many acres there are in 70 hectares? No? Okay, ever hear on the American news that it's going to be 88 degrees in Memphis and you want know how much that is in Celsius? I found a handy little online metric converter that does everything from furlongs to feet to pascals to psi. It even lets you do the incredibly useful conversion of Light Years to Picas (it's a lot of picas, btw).

Quote of the Month: "You're gonna need a bigger boat." — Chief Brody in Jaws upon first getting a look at the shark.

Fun Fact of the Month: On average only around 10 people annually die as a result of shark attacks. Statistically many more people are killed by dogs, snake bites, or bees.

Joke of the Month:
A man walks into a pet store, he looks around and notices three parrots, priced at $5000, $10,000, and $20,000. He asks the clerk "What's so special about these expensive parrots?"
"Well, the green one, at $5000, he speaks English, French, and he's learning Spanish."
"Hmm, impressive," the man replies. "What about this one?"
"The white one, at $10,000, not only does he speak English, French, Spanish, and German, he's learning Japanese."
"Wow, that is one smart bird. How about the one that costs 20 grand?"
"Well," the clerk answers, "we don't know what he does. He never says anything that makes any sense, but the other two call him Mr. Chairman."

DVD of the Month: There is really only one movie that I can put up this month, and that is of course Jaws. While the movie is over 25 years old, it still holds up perfectly. The story is simple, straightforward, and will make you think twice about swimming at night. The DVD is a 25th anniversary edition and features a making of featurette, some deleted scenes and outtakes, and a trivia game, which is pretty cool for a movie this old.

September Poll
Are you afraid of sharks?

Not at all, there's no sharks around here: 2 Votes
I'm not going to swim in shark infested waters, if that's what you're asking: 1 Votes
The thought that a shark could be swimming near makes me nervous: 0 Votes
I saw Jaws. You aren't getting me into the water: 3 Votes